Make selfishness an artform

Why you should make selfishness an art form!

We were all brought up not to be selfish! It’s the truth. Not only that ,but we all bring our own children up not be selfish. Always put other person first we are told. Do not just Help yourself to what you want, let others choose first. I’m sure you can think of many more examples.

And so it begins…….. We start putting our selves last, and everyone else’s needs are met first.

In prehistoric times the strongest hunters gathered the food for the the less able. Defence was also arranged in the same way. It was provided by the strongest members of the tribe to protect the most vulnerable. In those days, the strongest helped everyone else . The tribe depended on the best hunters to feed the weakest, and often followed the herds, and responded to changing seasons in order to survive. Anyone who behaved in a selfish way put the whole tribe at risk. Cultures in some very remote areas still survive in this way today.

Things began to change. People began to specialise. Some became farmers, some hunters some fishermen, and some doctors and teachers etc. The same principals prevailed. This was for everyone’s benefit. People began to swop goods and services for the good of the tribe if you will. Suddenly some people could ask more for their services than others. Goods and services took on a value. In order to survive we all needed to become more selfish. Think of it this way, you need to be selfish in the same way that you need to put your own oxygen mask on if your airplane oxygen supply fails before you help someone else, or you maybe no-use to anyone at all.

Suddenly, selfishness is necessary. Creatives need to be focused ( selfish?) talent- development requires selfishness . When a breakthrough of any kind is Imminent, total commitment and concentration are paramount. The evaluation of the tribe is much more important that individual needs. It maybe that for the first time, you can understand why it is necessary to be selfish for the good of the whole tribe. For the first time, you will come to see that you need to answer your own personal needs first, so that you are strong enough to help the tribe with theirs!

Most people think that selfish people are either egocentric or insensitive, this is not what you are aiming for. The egocentric thinks life and the universe revolves around him. The insensitive person just doesn’t care about others. You can be selfish with out being either of these things. You just have to overcome your social conditioning.

Jane was a very quiet and sweet girl. She hated confrontation. If anyone got mad, she would apologise whether it was her fault or not. All of her relationships were demanding. It seemed everyone wanted a piece of her. She was feeling burned out, unappreciated and because of this she was sinking into depression.

Jane decided to have some confidence coaching. She felt she needed some guidance. After going through her own reactions and modes of behaviour in hypothetical situations, Jane began to see that she DID have power over her own communication style, she DID have power over her own behaviour. Jane had been unaware that you can show people how you would like to be treated. You can show them what behaviours are acceptable in your presence. If they don’t like the new you, they are welcome to disappear from your life. This kind of selfishness is essential for you to be comfortable and bring back the enjoyment in your life. Now Jane effortlessly attracts more fun and joy and pleasure in her life, because SHE is more fun, SHE spreads joy where ever she goes. Selfishness? Yes indeed!

Jane’s name has been changed.

Jane had a course of three ‘Build your confidence’ sessions it has changed her life.

Six months later, Jane applied for a promotion and got it.

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